How to know who your people are.

Life is so much easier when you get to do it with the people that love you. It’s not easy finding your people. It takes authenticity, alignment, vulnerability, and intention. Some people that you think are lifetime people turn out to be just for a season people. Sometimes you just grow in different directions. Sometimes people aren’t who you thought. When you find your people, life is so much better. Here are some ways to recognize them.

  1. They accept you just as you are.

You will know who your people are because they will embrace you exactly as you are. They won’t constantly criticize you or try to change you. You will feel comfortable to be completely yourself without feeling judged.

2. It feels good to be around them.

Pay attention to how you feel around people. That will tell you if they are for you or not. When you are around people that are meant for you, you will feel a sense of calm and well being. You will leave them feeling lighter. Your people make you feel seen and understood.

3. You don’t hold back telling them good news.

Your people will celebrate with you when good things happen. You will feel comfortable sharing good news because you know they are almost as invested in your happiness as you are. There is no jealousy or minimizing your good news, because they genuinely take your happiness personally.

4. They really listen.

Your people will actively listen to you without cutting you off, getting distracted, or tuning out. Your people make you feel seen and understood. They will ask you questions and will offer new perspectives. You will feel heard and understood.

5. You have a deep trust.

When someone is for you, you don’t ever have to question their motives or wonder about their loyalty. You know that when they say they will do something, they will. You know that they have your back when you’re not around. You know you’re safe with them.

6. You can disagree.

You will not always see things the same way-you have different backgrounds that shape your opinions and beliefs. When you are with your people, you are safe to disagree and have your opinions be heard. You have a deep respect for each other, even when you aren’t on the same page and can agree to disagree without letting it change your relationship.

7. They tell you the truth. 

The ones that are for you will tell you the truth-even when it is hard to hear. You can count on their honesty. They won’t sugarcoat things to protect your feelings, they won’t hide things from you, and they will tell you the hard truths.

8. They show up. 

Pay attention the the ones that show up for you in the good and the hard. They are present with you-if not in person, in spirit. They check in, they help clean up after a party, they come over with wine or dessert to cheer you up, they send you a thoughtful text or note. They aren’t around only when things are fun, they sit with you in the suck, too.

9. They challenge you to grow

Finding your people is not always comfortable and easy. They will love you as you are, but they will also encourage your growth. They will push you to do the things you are afraid of. They will challenge your self destructive behaviors or habits. They will call you out, but they will do it with love.

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1 Response

  1. Christine says:

    Thank you for sharing this! I love this advice. Having friends who challenge you to grow isn’t something I’ve thought about until adulthood and it’s so important!

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